Real Ale Phoenixx Double ESB

I swung by the Gingerman after work the other day hoping to get a pint of the Real Ale Real Heavy, we just got it on tap at the bar; however, they hadn’t yet tapped their keg so Joe grabbed me a Phoenixx Double ESB by Real Ale instead. The Double ESB is Real Ale’s most recent seasonal, and it offers everything we’ve come to expect and love from Real Ale.

The beer is classified as an English Strong Ale, it weighs in at 6.6% ABV with 50 IBU. Oddly considering these stats, the Beer has a very light nose. It might because I have a slight cold that the beer keeps its entire flavor for your palate, but I got very little nose from my initial investigation. I believe that just as you eat with your eyes you also drink with your eyes. So the question becomes does this beer say, “Pick me up and drink me”? Well, this is an ideal looking beer. It has a white creamy head that has great lacing that hangs all the way down the glass. The body is fairly clear with an amber black color.

Real Ale claims that this “this ale is about hops. The blend of English hops, highlighted by its namesake, Phoenix, yields a complex hop character that dominates this special brew.” The beer definitely keeps its promise. The presence of hops creates a bitterness that definitely dominates the beer. The overall structure of the beer is prototypical of any well done ESB, but there is also a rich, yet balanced malty flavor apparent in the taste as well. This element comes from the English crystal malt which brings with it a light toffee and caramel undertone. This beer has a medium body with a very light and watery mouth feel. The finish lasts, but it shouldn’t keep you from drinking this with other beers if you find yourself out on a tasting spree, which is always a concern for me.

Overall, I would call this a very well balanced flavorful beer that you should definitely seek out if you have the opportunity. I guess the Real Heavy is going to have to wait for another day, that or I just have to sneak a taste at work and report back later.

Gin & Tonic Cans: Convenience Gone too Far

First the rattlesnake vodka, now canned gin and tonic; what the heck is going on here? Is the world completely giving up on the cocktail?

It all started when I was browsing the gin aisle at Houston’s ridiculously large liquor store, Spec’s, last week, and there it was canned gin and tonic. I mean it was right there below my favorite gin grouping (yes, I have a favorite gin grouping at the liquor store), Juinpero, OldRaj, and Boomsma Jonge. How could they even think of putting this canned monstrosity next to such fine products? I had to buy it and find out what this was all about. So, I guess, in a way, they won over another sucker.

The canned G&T is made by Greenall’s, which is actually a gin I have never had. The list of gins I have never tasted is becoming shorter and shorter, so I think this might have played a role in my curiosity. For what it’s worth, Greenall’s gin has been made in England since 1761. Most of it, however, is distributed in bottles.

Surprisingly, the bottle option is just about the same price as the cans. I didn’t even look at the price when I grabbed the little four pack. When my cashier rang the cans up and said 12.50 something, I reacted without thinking, “Excuse me?” She repeated, and I paid and thought, “Wow, there’s not even a financial incentive to this product.”

The cans come in 12 ounce sizes and contain 10% alcohol by volume. This means, that there’s actually only 1.2 ounces of good ol’ Greenall’s per can, which is less than your standard shot. The individual price of the can would be $3.13, which is about halfway to the markup you might pay in a bar or restaurant. But, I’m not sitting in a nice lounge; instead, I’m planted on my couch wondering why the “cantender” charged me so much and underpoured.

And then I tasted it. Let me be accurate here - this stuff is by far the worst gin and tonic I’ve ever had. I re-checked the can and found an explanation “imported gin with natural flavors & artificial sweeteners”. The artificial sweeteners definitely made this taste like a funky Sprite more than a G&T. By funky Sprite, I mean lemon and lime soda meets the moist ass of a hyena in heat. One sip was enough; I couldn’t handle anymore. Good gin and tonics require good gin and good tonic. This can offers neither.

What concerns me most about the canned gin and tonic concept isn’t the bad tasting experience. I’ve had plenty of those, though this might have been one of the worst. My fundamental problem with this product is that the G&T, despite being one of the greatest cocktails ever, is as basic as it gets. Gin, tonic, ice, a lime for garnish, and you’re done. Why do we need to can this? Is this procedure to difficult for people to carry out? It all started with the boxed dinner; now everything has to be pre-made. Let’s just officially change the Declaration of Independence to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of convenience.”

I’m disgusted, in more ways than one.

Rattlesnake Infused Vodka…Seriously

Well, it’s official; the flavored vodka plague has gone as far as it can. Last Thursday, the Texas Alcholic Beverage Commission seized over 400 bottles of rattlesnake-infused vodka. Don’t believe me? Just check out the story on Fox News. There are all kinds of crazy things at work here.

First of all, what is this supposed to freaking taste like? Seriously, I’ve heard of rattlesnake roundups (another confusing phenomenon altogether) resulting in rattlesnake steaks and other culinary delights, but what do you do with this? Are we to assume that, if popular, the rattlesnake vodka trend would inspire “rattlesnake tinis”? Man, I’d hate to see the garnish on one of the things. Then again, I know given a bottle that I’d put it to use and have to experiment with a few classic recipes. Rattlesnake negronis anyone?

Rattlesnake Negroni

1 oz Rattlesnake Infused Vodka
1 oz Campari
1 oz Martini & Rossi Sweet Vermouth

Stir and thoroughly and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a severed rattle from snake.

I wonder who wins this battle - the rattlesnake or the cochineal beetles present in older bottles of Campari? Actually, I don’t think the negroni twist would work as the snake infusion is actually supposed to act as an aphrodisiac. That’s right, nothing like downing shots of decaying snake vodka to put that girl on the stool next to you in the mood. If this is the type of mate you’re trying to attract, best of luck to you, but I might start at an underground exotic pet store, not a bar.

Infusing snake and other exotic critters, like scorpions, for romantic purposes is actually a common practice in some Asian cultures. Now, I don’t want to be culturally insensitive here. I am a vigilant supporter of respecting cultures worldwide and reducing ethnocentrism, but this was South Texas. There aren’t any Asians there, and if I’ve missed in my visits to this area of the country, they certainly aren’t going to consume the 411 bottles that were seized last week by themselves.

Instead, this is just another example of that weird portion of Texas that continues to dominate the world’s view of our state. For the record, we aren’t all cowboys. I’ve never rode a horse, and I don’t own a cowboy hat, boots, or an obscenely large belt buckle. The only thing that me and these rattlesnake vodka producers might have in common is our lack of understanding for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission. I get the snake vodka seizure thing, but when are we going to be able to get a decent selection of liquor in this state? Surely if this is even an underground possibility, we can finally get some creme de violette down here right? I’m not holding my breath, but you can be sure I’m checking every bottle on my local liquor shelves a little more carefully nowadays.

Mixology Monday: The Jet Pilot Crashes

Welcome to Drink Dogma’s first Mixology Monday. Ah, I remember the days when the old-site, Explore the Pour, was first giving into the peer pressure of drinking along blogging guidelines. But, I was a less-experienced blogger (and bartender for that matter) then, and thanks to my obsession…err…devotion to learning as much about spirits and cocktails as possible, my scope into the world of mixed drinks has increased tremendously. One genre of drinks which have garnered my focus recently have been tiki drinks, perfectly aligning my current mixology projects with this weeks “Limit One” MxMo theme.

Several tiki cocktails would definitely fit the one drink limit. Tiki concoctions are often considered to be enough for the evening by themselves; anything in addition and you might as well just call in sick for the next day. Tiki cocktails generally are one of the least utilized cocktails for the everyday bartender because of their lengthy recipes and intimidating garnishes and presentations. Sure, any admirable cocktail bar should have exotic ingredients and numerous fruits on hand, but tiki drinks, even more than the most complicated classics, require the bar to modify their inventory and practices to disproportionately accommodate a few types of drinks. That being said, this is not an excuse, but may help to explain why tiki drinks less frequently pave their way into even the most prideful cocktail bars, which is a shame.

 

Consequently, if you’re a bartender or at home mixologist, you’re probably going to have to put the tiki effort in yourself. Sure, some are fortunate enough to live near a great tiki bar like Forbidden Island, but the rest of have to seek out exotic ingredients, fruits, and crazy mugs without counsel. If you find yourself in this situation, the first resource you should look into is Beachbum Berry’s Sippin’ Safari. Of all his books, this the most complete and descriptive account of his quest to uncover tiki drinks and share them with the public. Several drinks in here would fit the Limit One description, but one of my favorites by far is The Jet Pilot, not to be confused with the Test Pilot:

The Jet Pilot

1 oz Dark Rum
3/4 oz Puerto Rican Rum
3/4 oz 151-Proof Lemon Hart Demerara Rum
1/2 oz Fee Brother’s Falernum
1/2 oz Lime Juice
1/2 oz Grapefruit Juice
1/2 oz Cinnamon Simple Syrup
6 Drops Pernod
1 Dash Angostura Bitters
4 oz (1/2 Cup) Crushed Ice

Put everything into a blender, adding crushed ice last, and blend at high speed for five seconds. Pour into an old-fashioned glass.

See why not every bar makes these things? One of the primary reasons obviously is the blender. Man, they make so much noise, and they don’t really go with a carefully stirred manhattan, but hey the jet pilot is also a great throw back to another era, and it definitely does the trick, if you can find everything to put in it. The 151-Proof Lemon Hart Demerara can be a tough find, but you can always go the online route and get some here.

This drinks is awesome because of the depth of flavor. Too often, people unfamiliar with tiki drinks assume that the seemingly simple mixtures of fruit juice and rum are simple formulas, but like this drink, the types of rum and accents of various dashes create a mixture that leaves you wanting more, though this is clearly a misguided choice. The Jet Pilot was the creation of the Laua Restaurant, a late 50’s tiki joint in Beverly Hills. It is an awesome drink that combines spiced flavors of cinnamon and dark rum flavors with the Angostura and Pernod and fruit juices. Man, it is one of the best tiki drinks I have had yet. You have to give this one a try. If you don’t believe me, just ask Rick at Kaiser Penguin. He thought the same thing about the Jet Pilot.

Rick is also our host for this week’s Mixology Monday: Limit One. However, in Rick’s post on the Jet Pilot he emphatically declares: “This has to be one of my favorite faux tropicals. Ok, I must go make another one now …”. Wow, Rick what counts as a “limit one” drink? I thought this drink would have definitely counted; heck, it would be illegal to serve in a bar in Texas. Sure, I know our state has some messed up laws, but man, I hope this qualifies for Mixology Monday at least. If you want to see others try and stack up to the Kaiser Penguins tolerance, head over to his site for the MxMo roundup. Just be sure to comeback to Drink Dogma in the future - change those rss feeds, bookmarks, and links.

By the way, what do you think of my new site?

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